5 posts from November 2009

shiet, with scores like these, no college would EVER want me D:

really, it's something i am very passionate about, it breaks my heart to hear something like that.

[20:56] hyperbutazn: y'know what i've noticed about myself??
[20:56] hyperbutazn: i'm VERY conservative... >.>
[20:56] amy ng: eh?
[20:57] hyperbutazn: i was just telling my mom about how much i'm afraid the next generation's gonna be whitewashed and oblivious to our own cultures and traditions
[20:58] hyperbutazn: and then my already whitewashed sister butts in and says to me" if that's what you care about, then how come you dont' try to do it yourself?"
[20:58] hyperbutazn: look who's talkign!!
[20:58] hyperbutazn: that really hurt my feelings
[20:58] amy ng: im americanized! (woot twinkies/bananas!) *peacesigns* :]
[20:58] amy ng: ^^v
[20:58] hyperbutazn: i'm trying everything i can, lending my freetime to stay with my family so i coudl charish the times i have with them and that's what they think of me?
[20:59] hyperbutazn: that really hit deep.
[20:59] hyperbutazn: haha amy's "americanized" xP
[20:59] amy ng: ah
[20:59] amy ng: its difficult
[20:59] amy ng: to
[20:59] hyperbutazn: but yeah, that jsut really smashed my feelings
[20:59] amy ng: balance american cultures and chinese cultures
[21:00] amy ng: its hard to do that
[21:00] hyperbutazn: no it's not the balancing, it's the holding on to those ties that are hard
[21:01] hyperbutazn: everyone wants the new and the better, they don't want to stay home, they don't wanna stay with their parents, they don't want to learn the traditions, they dont' want to get involved with teh culture
[21:01] hyperbutazn: that's what i'm afraid of. looka t mr. ko
[21:01] hyperbutazn: he's a 3rd generation chiense
[21:01] hyperbutazn: and he's OBLIVIOUS to everything that has to DO with being chiense
[21:01] hyperbutazn: i jsut dont' want the next generation to be like that
[21:01] hyperbutazn: our childrem
[21:02] amy ng: oh i see
[21:02] amy ng: uh oh lol
[21:02] hyperbutazn: look at us now, most of us already dont' wanna follow out parents
[21:02] hyperbutazn: don't wanna be like them
[21:02] hyperbutazn: dont' wanna listen to them
[21:02] amy ng: aiya thats me =(
[21:02] hyperbutazn: we listen to our friends, the friends who also dont' listen to their parents
[21:02] amy ng: i even told my parents
[21:02] amy ng: tha
[21:02] amy ng: that*
[21:03] hyperbutazn: so we have limited knowledge about what we are and where we come from
[21:03] amy ng: hmm
[21:03] hyperbutazn: then what about our children??
[21:03] hyperbutazn: culture and traditions are passed down from generation to generation
[21:04] hyperbutazn: if we stop learning it, the whole chain is broken
[21:04] hyperbutazn: our childrem would be oblivious
[21:04] hyperbutazn: not only that, but when we finally realize that, our children would be like us right now
[21:04] hyperbutazn: don't want to sustain the past, want to live int he present and future
[21:05] amy ng: you should write an essay to argue your point. XD
[21:05] amy ng: good points
[21:05] hyperbutazn: don't wanna associate with the our ties and original country
[21:05] hyperbutazn: i dont' think i'll be ablt to write an essay about this
[21:06] hyperbutazn: becuase writing essays is taking out a lot of feelings and emotions that i have about this
[21:06] amy ng: and do you know what i hate about most? chinese people who undermine chinese values and cultures ( they are TOO EMBARASSED .. >_> .. they're afraid of what people think of them)
[21:06] hyperbutazn: i know! that really irritates me
[21:06] amy ng: if you have strong opinions about something. write about it (my suggestion to you)
[21:07] hyperbutazn: jsut ANY person dissing their own culture annoys me
[21:07] amy ng: chinese person " omg stop being so asian .. you're so cheap.. ugh chinese people are so dirty.. "
[21:07] hyperbutazn: do they have ANY idea how the older generations felt about these traditions?
[21:07] hyperbutazn: holding on to their traditions is holding on to their LIFe
[21:07] hyperbutazn: their lifetyle
[21:07] hyperbutazn: their whole family history
[21:07] amy ng: yeah
[21:07] amy ng: i pity them
[21:08] amy ng: hating on themselves
[21:08] amy ng: sad people
[21:08] amy ng: XD
[21:08] hyperbutazn: i mean, i say i dont' like sf's chinatown cuz it's dirty, but it doesn't mean i'm dissing chinese people
[21:08] hyperbutazn: i'm just saying our chinatown really sucks
[21:08] amy ng: i know what you mean
[21:08] hyperbutazn: it doesn't have a good impression of the real china
[21:08] hyperbutazn: it really hits me deep
[21:09] hyperbutazn: how those people could do that to themselves
[21:09] hyperbutazn: deprive themselves of themselves
[21:09] hyperbutazn: and the way my sister just said that to me? it really hurt
[21:09] hyperbutazn: my own SISTER
[21:09] hyperbutazn: i'm so sorry i'm ranting on about this to you
[21:10] hyperbutazn: i bet your'e like "shit eileen, you stupid"
[21:10] hyperbutazn: i'm SO sorry
[21:10] amy ng: huh? nah
[21:10] hyperbutazn: i just didn't feel comfortable saying this to anyone else
[21:10] amy ng: girls rant. I LOVE TO RANT.,
[21:10] amy ng:
[21:10] amy ng: nah vent them
[21:11] amy ng: lol
[21:12] amy ng: i never listen to what my brother says. in my mind: " xPP your opinion doesnt matter to me" XD
[21:12] hyperbutazn: thankss amyy
[21:12] amy ng: npp
[21:12] amy ng: lol
[21:12] hyperbutazn: i think imma go drink abotu bwol of soup to calm down enough to concentrate on hw >.>
[21:12] amy ng: yeah i gotta go
[21:12] amy ng: bye
[21:12] amy ng: lol
[21:12] amy ng: gn
[21:13] hyperbutazn: g'night amy sleep more

i was so bored i make an online purikura...